I hate you
by heathsie
Summary: Tom/Sasha nonsense now that he is back aboard the Nathan James. Loosely based on the actual events in the show but mainly my own drabble.
1. Chapter 1

_There are times when I hate you Tom Chandler._

Sasha was sat in the mess watching as the rest of the crew of the Nathan James went about their lunchtime business. Tom had just walked in and he was currently debating over what looked like a cheese salad plate and a ham sandwich.

 _Ham._

Sasha couldn't help the slight rise of the corner of her mouth when he selected the ham sandwich and added it to his tray as predicted.

Her mind flashed back to the moments, nearly 18 months ago, now when she had watched him walk off the ship, walk away from his duties, walk away from her. She had experienced a rollercoaster of emotions since that day and now here he was again, back on the Nathan James and back in her life.

Her mind drifted to Fletcher and the nights she had spent with him in his cabin. He had been kind and thoughtful, attentive and caring. She had genuinely felt a deep affection for him but their relationship had lacked the fire and passion she and Tom had once shared. Tom being back on the ship had only reconfirmed that which she already knew; the fireworks that erupted in her belly every time he was close helped her too. She thought about how Fletcher had betrayed her and despite him sacrificing himself to warn them of Vellek's plan, did that make up for all the pain, chaos and even murder he had caused on board?

 _Probably not._

She realised Tom has betrayed her too in a manner of sorts when he abandoned his crew and their mission in search of his own peace. Her heart knew that had been selfish of him even in the calm that followed the storm but her heart remembered all the sacrifices he had made since the virus began to spread all those years ago and she ached for him and understood his need for a break.

 _Maybe not an eighteen month break but a break none the less._

"Earth to Sasha!"

She started, eyes focusing back in reality where a hand was waving in her face.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked, ever the gentleman.

"Of course," she gestured to the empty seat opposite her.

She watched him sit, take a mouthful of the sandwich she had seen him choose and open a bottle of water he must have acquired while she had been daydreaming.

"You enjoy your little trip away there?" he asked in between bites, a smile playing on his lips.

"There were moments," she echoed his own words back at him.

"Sounds nice," he played along.

Her mouth did that twisty thing at the corner again, completely against her will.

 _There are times when I really, really hate you Tom Chandler._


	2. Chapter 2

"Burning the midnight oil again? This is getting to be a habit Sasha."

She hadn't heard him enter the conference room but she had been deep in her research. "I just... I feel like we're getting closer and I don't want to give that slimy bastard even the slightest chance to slip through our fingers again."

"None of us do but you won't be much good to us when we find him if you're running on empty."

"Save the well-being speech Tom, you don't exactly look a picture of health yourself."

She caught the momentary look of hurt as it passed across his features but he covered it quickly with a chuckle. "My excuse is my age, completely out of my control. Sleep on the other hand..."

"Okay, okay, I get it. Ten more minutes and I'll go to bed," he raised his eyebrow at her. "I promise! I just need to finish up here."

"Anything I can help with?"

"Maybe, but not now. Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow it is."

He watched her return her attention to the papers in front of her on the table, knowing full well she would still be there in the morning. He was almost out the door when he heard her call his name. Without looking up from whatever she was writing, she told him "You're not old, not by a long shot."

He couldn't help but smile.

* * *

He thought he heard a banging on his door but it couldn't be, could it? Straining to open his eyes, the alarm clock by his bed red 3.23am.

He sat up in bed just as the knocking started up again but now he heard a voice too. Her voice.

 _So much for ten more minutes._

He swung his legs off the side of the bed and ran a hand through his bed hair. "Come in."

Sasha was through the door and standing in front of him in two seconds flat. "I've found it, Tom! I've found Vellek's lab."

Now she had his full attention as he looked up at her. "Where?" he asked simply, knowing instantly that she has what she said she had. No doubts.

"Based on the last communications from their vessel and some of the archived data in the files we got from Georgio's place it has to be here," she placed a map of the Med down on his desk and pointed to a spot. He stood and moved over to stand beside her identifying her chosen spot about ten nautical miles from their current position.

"Not far. Sasha, how-?"

"Tom, it doesn't matter, we found him. We need to go now!" She was already rolling up the map ready to move.

He grasped her free hand between both of his gently. She felt warm and smooth between his own rough palms. "Sasha, we need to be smart. It's the middle of the night, we have no plan and I doubt we'll be able to simply approach and walk on board even in the pitch dark."

He watched her take a deep breath and exhale. He could see some, a small amount, of tension leave her body.

He lifted one of his hands to cup her cheek and forced eye contact. "You did good Sasha, you may have saved the world with this. Now we need to play it smart."

* * *

Sasha felt like she'd had the wind blown out of her. In a good way, if that's possible. She'd been so wired only moments before, unable to quite believe she had found Vellek's hiding spot that she hadn't stopped to actually formulate a workable plan.

A hand on cheek and his eyes staring deep into her own was all it took for Tom Chandler to still her. She saw a mixture of admiration and concern in his eyes and wondered how it possible for someone to express both of those emotions at the same time.

She felt her heart racing as she noticed for the first time since she entered his cabin that he was bare-chested and wearing only a pair of black sweats. Her eyes drifted up to his head where he hair was all ruffled and sticking out at various angles. She liked it; the rough and ready look. She liked it lot.

"Tom-"

She felt cold the second he took his away from her cheek and took a step back. "First thing in the morning Sasha, let the crew get some rest. We'll convene in the conference room at 05.30."

She dropped her eyes to the floor and nodded, unable to stop the feeling of sadness and loss that swept over her body.

"Now get some rest." He cupped her chin with his finger and lifted her head so she was facing him once again. "Please Sasha."

* * *

He wanted to kiss her then more than he had wanted anything for a really, really long time.

She looked so conflicted; not the Sasha he knew and loved. He felt his heart break as he thought about that bastard Fletcher and more painfully, his own part in her unhappiness. She was the one person he hadn't wanted to taint but leaving had caused her more pain than he'd allowed himself to realise. She hadn't deserved any of it and he was determined to make it up to her, however long it took. If she'd let him.

"I just don't know how to switch off anymore," she admitted after a long pause. "I have so many thoughts running about in my head and it's like I can't shut them off."

She sounded more broken than he had ever heard her.

"I'm exhausted but the second I lie down my mind-"

The sound of her voice and the look of defeat in her eyes caused Tom to lose his already wavering restraint. He silenced her with a kiss, taking a step forward and catching her moving lips in his own. He felt her stiffen in shock for a second before she softened against his chest and snaked her arms around his neck. Her mouth was hot and she tasted of coffee as she moved to deepen the kiss, tongues snaking together as he placed his hands on her slim waist.

She could feel the heat from his bare chest as she pressed against him. God, she had missed this. Him.

After what seemed like hours she broke contact, gasping for air and placing her forehead against his. "Tom-"

He took a step back. "Sorry," he began. "I just… you were…"

She smiled at his adorably cute flailing. "I'm not," she took a step towards him and kissed him softly on the lips. "It's just, with the mission and… everything. I want this finished."

Tom sighed. "Me too."

It took every fibre of willpower in her body to take a couple of steps back towards the door. "See you at 5.30?"

He nodded. "I'll even wear a shirt for the special occasion."

"Shame," she teased playfully.

They both had grins the size of a Cheshire Cat's as she closed his door behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Thank you so much for the follows and the reviews._**

 ** _I'm carrying on with this story irrespective of the events in the finale. And I've absolutely no idea about Navy protocols and longitude/latitude points etc so all completely wrong, apologies to anyone who knows that stuff._**

 _(12 hours later)_

"How could this happen?" Tom rounded on Green. "How could you let this happen?"

"Sir, we tried to stop her, you know what she's like, she just..."

"You were the officer in charge!"

"Enough!" Mike interrupted, "Bickering and assigning blame will get us nowhere and we need to figure out our rescue plan for Cooper and Burke."

"Where did you last see her? Them?" Tom asked, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible.

"In the lab sir. we tried to sneak in quietly but there were just too many of Georgio's men and they made us quicker than we anticipated they would. Next thing we know, Wolf saw Cooper make a run for one of the interior doors. Burke followed suit to retrieve her but they had us pinned down within minutes. Our only option was to fall back or we'd all be dead now."

"Damnit Sasha!" Tom swiped at the table in front of him, sending maps and stationary flying with his hands.

"You did the right thing." Mike told alpha team. "Now we have to concentrate on getting them back."

"Before Vellik turns them into vegetables," Wolf pointed out.

Tom clenched his fists so tight he was sure he drew blood. He didn't feel a thing. A strange numbness had spread throughout his body as he thought about Sasha in Veliks grip and even worse, her as one of those mind controlled soldiers obeying every whim and command. It might very well be the thing that had gotten her into this mess in the first place and right now Tom hated it, but he knew unequivocally that what made Sasha cooper Sasha cooper was her fire and enthusiasm and without those things, well the thought made him feel sick to his stomach...

"We have to find them," he was strangely calm all of a sudden. He knew they needed a plan and a good one at that. "We are not losing anyone else we care about. Not today."

Wolf was the first to speak up. "Sir, i suggest we go in hot. A full frontal assault, they won't be expecting that and now we know their numbers we-"

"Captain, incoming call from the enemy ship," the Commander interrupted.

Mike locked gaze with Tom, drew in a deep breath and picked up the transmitter. "This is captain Slattery of the Nathan James."

"You know what we want," the reply was instant. Vellik himself.

"So much for niceties," Mike quipped before pressing the receiver on the radio. "We are not handing over the seeds so you-"

"Are you really in any position to negotiate here Captain? I have two of your crew and unless those seeds are on my boat in the next hour, the next time you see either of them… well, let's just say they won't be exactly how you remember them."

Mike glanced around the room, seeing nothing but the despair he felt himself reflected back at him. He sighed and bowed his head.

"I assume you're proposing a straight swap?"

"That would seem like the best option."

"Fine. The seeds for our people. We'll-"

"No." Lucia's voice came across the radio.

"Sorry?"

"Not just the seeds. I want Tom Chandler."

Mike looked up at Tom. "Not gonna happen."

"Listen up, we have two of your people here so we get two things in return for their homecoming. The seeds and Captain Chandler. Unless you just want to save one of your friends?"

Mike knew what was coming next and he tried to stop it. "Tom, there's-"

"I'll go." Tom stated.

"Hang on, there's no way to know they'll even keep up their side of the bargain." Green chipped in.

"Tom, she wouldn't want you to give yourself up for her." Mike continued pointlessly.

"She'll keep it. If it means getting the seeds and me, Lucia will keep her word. Trust me."

"Damnit!" Knowing no-one would change Tom's mind, Mike got back on the radio. "We'll send a rhib out in 30 minutes with the Captain and the seeds. I suggest you do the same and make the exchange at…"

Gator pointed to spot roughly halfway between their locations. "234-552."

There was a short pause. "29 minutes and counting Captain Slattery."


	4. Chapter 4

_**Thank you again for the previous reviews and apologies for the gap in posting. I hope you enjoy this one and again, apologies for any inconsistencies in Navy procedures and protocols. I own nothing.**_

* * *

"Tom? Wait... what are you...?" Tom could see the confusion on Sasha's face and the anger was bubbling up as he took in their surroundings.

"What have you done?" He asked to the guards behind him, forcing his voice to remain serious but calm.

Having boarded the ship with the seeds as arranged, Tom had been ushered by a group of Greek guards into the container. Although pretty dark, he could see Sasha and Burke had been tied up, attached with ropes to the ceiling of a container on the ships deck. Both of their clothes were torn and dirty. He could see cuts and bruises everywhere and blood spotted their clothes in several places. Burke was clearly awake while Sasha had seemed unconscious or worse, only moving when she sensed Tom beside her. Suddenly, he was pulled back and held by two huge guys who overpowered him easily.

"Just a little fun Captain." Tom turned at the sound of Lucia's voice just in time to see her saunter into the container, seeds in hand. "But don't worry, this is nothing compared to what I have planned for you." Her smile made his stomach lurch as he wondered what she had put Sasha, and Burke through because of him.

She walked past him towards Sasha who had gone back to looking limp and unconscious. He tried to shake the men holding him but it was pointless. "You have the seeds, now let them go."

Lucia make a show of pouting and reached out her free hand to strike Sasha'a cheek. "Do I have to?"

"We had a deal."

"Hmmmm fair enough. Get them out of here." She nodded at the guards by the door. "Don't be too careful though." She cut the rope holding Sasha's arms up and she fell to the ground with a thud.

"Sasha!" Tom couldn't help the fear in his voice as he struggled harder against his restrainers.

"I've got her Captain." Suddenly Burke was there, slinging her arm around his neck and supporting her waist with his free arm. "Sir, I-"

"Go! Get out of here!"

"We will come back-"

"I said get them out of here-" Lucia bellowed.

Tom watched as the soldiers pushed them out of the container and out of sight, praying silently they would make it back to the James in one piece.

"Tie him up."

Tom felt himself being tied up in the spot vacated by Burke just a few moments ago. He was still thinking about Sasha, bruised and bloody when he realised the other men had left.

Lucia turned back to Tom. "Alone at last. I'm genuinely curious to know what she has that I don't?" She paused but continued when he didn't respond. "Please, tell me."

Tom tore his eyes away from where Sasha had been hung to stare into Lucia's eyes, unblinking. "She's not a drug-taking psychopath for starters."

He barely registered the slap she gave him as his whole body felt strangely numb.

* * *

 ** _Three days later..._**

"Hey Cooper," Mike had been checking in on Sasha every few hours for the last three days and today's lunchtime visit had coincided with her opening her eyes for the first time since they'd rescued her from Vellek's ship.

"M... Mike?" Sasha raised her hand to her head which was pounding.

"You gave us a bit of a scare there y'know."

"Sorry... what...?" Synapses suddenly started firing on her brain. "Is Burke okay?"

"Burke is fine, recovering well."

More connections and a little shriek "Tom?"

"Sasha-"

"God no, why would he do that?" She interrupted him. "He knows protocol and not to negotiate with-"

"Sasha!" Now it was his turn to interrupt. "Tom is fine." She stopped, mouth open wide in disbelief. "Well, he's here on the ship anyway." Mike looked down at his hands on his lap.

"Mike?"

"He… well… he's in the same position you were about ten minutes ago."

"What? How long was I out for?"

He paused. "Coming up on three days."

Sasha still felt out of it but she must have misheard him. "Three…?"

"Doc said you needed your rest. He found…"

Sasha pushed everything that had happened on Vellek's ship to the back of her mind for the moment. "Where's Tom?"

* * *

Sasha walked into Tom's little cabin to see him lying on his back, arms by his side in what looked like peaceful sleep. Doc Rios was on the far side of the room checking some paperwork on a clipboard.

"What happened?" Sasha asked, although she wasn't sure she really wanted to know.

"He was only on the ship for maybe an hour after we got you and Burke off. With Lucia distracted by his arrival it was relatively easy for Vulture team to sneak up on the rear end of the ship and wait for the soldiers to disperse a little. Make it a little more of a fair fight."

Sasha couldn't tear away from Tom's lifeless body as she waited for Mike to continue but it was the Doc who filled in the blanks.

"When Wolf and the others found him he was unconscious. They thought he was just knocked out so they carried him, escorting him back to the rhib and eventually here."

"Is everyone okay?"

"Miller and Azima have flesh wounds where bullets scraped by but they'll be absolutely fine."

She didn't say anything out loud but she was relived for that small mercy.

The Doc continued. "When I examined him I knew something was wrong. There are extraordinary levels of nostros in his bloodstream and all my attempts to wake him up have failed."

Sasha could feel tears welling and she blinked furiously to hold them back.

"All of his vitals are normal and as far as I can tell he could wake up at any moment, I just have no idea when."

Sasha remembered the robot like people who had taken Vellek's 'cure'. "Or what state he'll be in when he wakes up," she finished what they were all thinking, not caring who heard the slight tremor in her voice.


End file.
